Top Ten Things

Top 10 Things My Parents Taught Me

Number 10 – Never Pick Up Hitchhikers
     This one is pretty self-explanatory. It is one of the few pieces of advice that I received from my dad, so it sticks out. My mom and dad aren’t big on advice. Instead, they lead by example and provide support to help me make decisions on my own.

Number 9 – Always be prepared for anything
     From the diaper she kept in the glove compartment of the car long after we were all potty-trained to the jug of water she takes on every car trip, my mom is always prepared for anything.  In addition to quenching our thirst, the jug of water came in handy on our trip to Seattle, when the tar paper under the backseat started smoldering in the Rocky Mountains. After my dad managed to find a spot to stop (“Harold, pull over! The children are burning up in the backseat!), we lifted the seat up and poured on the water to cool it off. I’m not sure what would have become of the backseat, or the trip, without it. I am still influenced by this need to be prepared. To this day, I always take a coat and gloves with me on winter days, in case the car breaks down.  And I have passed this advice along to my kids, too.

Number 8 – Always be thrifty
      My parents were the original recyclers. As children born during the Depression and living through World War II, they learned to never throw anything away that could be used again in some manner. This continued into their adult lives, with collections of boxes and other items kept in the basement in case we might need them sometime. Plastic bags of all sizes, from those that held sandwiches to those that held loaves of bread, were dutifully washed out and reused until they had numerous holes in them. They weren’t just used to store food, either. For example, the bread bags were used as bootliners to keep our feet dry when playing in the show.  Even now, I feel a twinge of guilt when throwing away a plastic bag. My dad was thrifty by taking meticulous care of his lawn mower, snow blower and other tools, carefully putting them away and following all the maintenance schedules. This helped to lengthen their lives considerably. I’m still working on this one.

Number 7 – Don’t worry about housework.
     Anyone who has been to my house can see that I have embraced this one wholeheartedly. My dad never noticed clutter, dirt or messes of any kind and my mom always said she didn’t want to “spend her life chasing dust around.” She is so right about this. There will always be housework, but your children are only young once.

Number 6  - Family trips are important
     My dad believed that family vacations were important for building happy memories. So my parents made sure there were trips, even though they had to take out loans to pay for them. They also made other sacrifices. Despite my mom’s fear of mountains (See Number 9), she agreed to the three-week car trip to Seattle, Washington, which involved crossing many mountains. The sacrifices, financial and otherwise, were worth it.  When we discuss our childhoods, memories (good and bad) from our vacations invariably come up.

Number 5 – Support your children’s and grandchildren’s activities 
     Karen talks about this in her entry and it’s so true. We never even considered that our parents wouldn’t be at one of our events, cheering us on, or giving us a glowing review of our musical performance. Other examples of their support include putting together numerous Indian Princess/Guides and Boy Scout meetings, finding last-minute costumes for school productions and working Bingo at the drum corps hall. Even though their children are now adults, my parents continue to show their support. They have attended my Cedar Rapids Concert Chorale concerts, even though my dad is bored tears by the music. It’s so heartwarming to be in your  40s, sitting on the stage and have your mom waving at you from the audience. My children also assume that if there’s a concert or sporting event, Grandma and Grandpa will be there. They have been to every musical performance since preschool and have also attended quite a few games, in weather that has ranged from broiling heat to cold and rainy.

Number 4 – Be honest     
     When I was about 10, my friends were shocked when I returned to the concession stand at the movie theatre to return the extra change the cashier had given me. I didn’t even think twice about it. As my parents had taught me, that wasn’t my money to keep and what goes around, comes around. If you cheat someone, then chances are good that someone will cheat you.

Number 3 – Be tolerant
     It is hard for me to live up to my parents on this one, because they are two of the most tolerant people I have ever met. They give everyone the benefit of the doubt and try to view the person, not the behavior.

Number 2 – You are responsible for your own happiness
     Since the 1970s, when they discovered metaphysics, my parents have taught us that each person is responsible for his or her own feelings and happiness. This was a radical idea in the 70s, but now it’s an accepted school of thought. I had neglected to follow this for a time, but it has become an important part of my life and helped me through some tough times. Another of their beliefs – everything works out for the best – has also been a guiding force for me.

Number 1 – Love your children unconditionally
     My parents showed their love for us in so many ways. But the thing that meant the most to me was that no matter how ugly or stupid I felt, they always made me feel beautiful and smart. Every child wants to know that someone thinks they’re special, and that is the most precious gift my parents gave to me. I am so grateful to them.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!
Love,
Nancy